Digital Changeling

January 20, 2009

History is the Horizon We Live On

I'm watching the inauguration this morning. It took a while to find a station with mostly footage of the actual events on the Mall and minimal commentator "assistance." I actually ended up on some brand of CNN, but they're mostly behaving. I could do with a little bit less fussing about the historical roots of slavery (I absolutely haven't heard this 4 billion times during Obama's campaign...).

When I was a kid, history was a very abstract thing for me. It was this nebulous string of events and dates that came out of books and lived in "the past." Nothing I or my friends or family could do would actually change it and day-to-day nothing much would really be added. It took me a long time to accept that history is the horizon of now and that I will see things and can do things that qualify (I'm not likely to do any things that will make it into books, mind you).

I think part of the problem is that despite the fact that I've experienced a number of huge historical events in my life, it's taken me years to see my life as a journey. It's the sort of thing you hear older people talk about looking back on their lives, so it's hard to accept. It's sort of like accepting the truth of mortality. You'd think that at 27 that wouldn't be so hard for me. I'm out of school. I'm married. If all goes well we'll be closing on a house at the end of February. I can't pretend I'm not "grown up" or that my life isn't changing.

As Gaiman's Death told me, I get a lifetime. I'd hate to look back and realize that I wasted it. Even though hiding is easier sometimes, I'll try to pay more attention. Just because my story has to end some day doesn't mean I shouldn't live it now.

With eyes open I'll continue on, toward the horizon of history. At the moment, at least, I'm feeling highly optimistic. :)

posted by Eva @ 10:34 AM

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